


Sanleste: Fic Author Meets Choi San

by Reina1



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Sanleste, a fic about celeste because she’s a queen, also it’s funny, utter crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reina1/pseuds/Reina1
Summary: “I just wanted you to stop being nocturnal so we could fall asleep together and cuddle!”“Oh, word?” Celeste says, stopping in front of him. She uwus visibly.San beams. “Lit.” He smoothly grabs the katana from her hand and chucks it clear across the room while pulling Celeste in for a hug. “You’re my little pogchamp, aren’t you?”*****A passionate crack story between ATEEZ fanfic author @celestialwishes and Choi San, her bias.(She claims she hates this but I’m sure she secretly anticipates the updates)
Relationships: Choi San/celestialwishes (the author)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7
Collections: The Server Made An Attempt





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celestialwishes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialwishes/gifts).



> So this was a running joke in our Discord server and I might as well publish it on ao3 as well. Celeste, ily and please don’t kick me <3

San does the hundredth push-up and gets up, his arms feeling like they would fall off any time soon. “Yunho, can you pass the towel?” He groans out, one arm lazily reaching to the side.

  
Instead of Yunho’s big hand, a much smaller one presses the linen into his palm. He looks over, surprised, and sees the future love of his life, nervously retracting her arm and pushing her glasses further up. Her employee tag says, “Celeste Wishes.” San passes out, overwhelmed by her sheer grace and beauty.

* * *

San wakes up slowly and looks into a blurry face with black hair like a dark halo around an angel’s face. His eyesight sharpens and he focuses on an _actual_ angel—Celeste. Desperately, he uses an American pickup line to woo her.

  
“Ya like jazz?” He says, smirking to mask his utter lack of confidence. 

  
Celeste makes a disgusted face and punches him with strength to rival Jongho’s, and San is unconscious once again.


	2. Fun Times in the Bathtub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part was written by loml @woosans  
> I love her beautiful brain

Stella doesn't know how or _why_ this mysterious man appeared but she does know that she needs to do something about it quick. Stella picks up San's unconcious body because she's just that cool and strong and sexy and hauls him to the bathroom so she can tie him up in the bathtub and call the police.

  
On top of that, his pick up lines suck. The Bee Movie? Really? 

  
In fact, Celeste is actually a thicc af soccer player chemistry student who also doubles as a professional hitman in her spare time, and she thinks that this man may even need to be ended for the betterment of the whole world. She’s about to karate chop him, when he wakes up. 

  
His lips part in wonder as he stares at her, then he quickly looks away. “I’m sorry,” he says. His accent errs on the British side, but she can’t exactly place it. Celeste is immediately more intrigued by the well-muscled man in her bathtub. 

  
“It’s... it’s okay,” she breathes out. “I’m Celeste.”

  
“I’m San,” he says with a soft, genuine smile. Her heart melts as his dimple appears. 

  
“Marry me,” she murmurs unthinkingly. She gasps when she realizes what she said, but San’s smile only grows.

  
He lifts himself into a sitting position and asks, “Can I kiss you?”

  
“Consent is sexy, and so are you,” she responds. She leans close to meet him in the middle.


	3. Baking and Breaking Sanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off a true story because Celeste has stayed up at unholy hours to bake

San has decided to move into Celeste’s dorm room for convenience purposes. Sometimes he’ll slip into classes just for fun, like History of Dance (for his own enjoyment) or Organic Chemistry (to learn about what his princess wants to do in the future). 

  
He decides one day to scare Celeste by waking up early in the morning and waiting to pop out from behind the couch. He sets an alarm for 4 AM and heads downstairs, wondering why no one turned off the lights. 

  
“SAN!” 

  
He screams when he hears the shout right by his ear and falls to the floor, hands raised above his head. “Don’t kill me please I haven’t even tried Hawaiian pizza yet,” he sobs.

  
“Silly Sannie,” the attacker says with a giggle. Slowly he turns around to see Celeste with a too-wide smile and dark circles that absorb all light. Her shoulder twitches erratically. 

  
“I’m _BAKING_ ,” she says excitedly. She claps her hands, dusting San with a layer of flour. “Wanna _help_?”

  
Out of fear for his life, San slowly nods. “Anything you say, babe.”

  
“AMAZING!” Celeste says, then drapes an apron around San’s waist. She ties it so tightly that San predicts that he won’t be able to feel his legs in a few minutes. 

  
He tries to untie it when Celeste isn’t looking. Then he sees her break a watermelon with her fist, laugh maniacally, and then stare at San with a _you may be next_ look.

  
He reties it with a nervous laugh and considers investing in a set of nunchucks for his own safety. 

  
God, he loves this woman.


	4. Getting on the Same Page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of nocturnal Celeste

Celeste is nocturnal.

  
Celeste is nocturnal and San is _not_ , and this is a serious issue because their mismatched schedules limit their cuddle time, which should be _maximized._

  
In order to get them on the same page, San has a plan. It is a very simple plan, one that has worked for Celeste before.  
So one day, when Celeste is rattling around the kitchen at 4 AM, San sneaks downstairs with a baseball bat and takes a giant swing at her head to knock her out—

  
And the bat is incinerated out of his hands. Celeste has just destroyed the baseball bat with her laser vision and is now looking at San like he’s next. 

  
“Do you want to explain before you perish?” She asks as she stalks towards him, grabbing her katana from the coffee table on the way.   
San backs up against the sofa with his hands held out placatingly. “I just wanted you to stop being nocturnal so we could fall asleep together and cuddle!”

  
“Oh, word?” Celeste says, stopping in front of him. She uwus visibly.

  
San beams. “Lit.” He smoothly grabs the katana from her hand and chucks it clear across the room while pulling Celeste in for a hug. “You’re my little pogchamp, aren’t you?” 

  
San considers the proceeding burn he receives from her as a mark of love.


	5. The Real Life of a Fanfiction Author

It’s close to midnight and Celeste is working very hard on her cute little fanfiction. San thinks it’s adorable that she’s so invested in Ateez that she writes about them. He wonders idly if the stories are like the Fever pt. 1 writing events.

  
Celeste leaves her laptop open one morning when she goes to her university, and San, bored out of his mind as he skips Organic Chem today, wanders over to it and sees her laptop open to her AO3 account. He clicks onto one of her stories, Gift of the Sea, and begins reading it, wondering what kind of situation he would find fic-San in. 

  
It is 4 AM and San is hiding in a closet, rocking back and forth. Hongjoong’s sacrifice? San tsundere or tragic backstory? _IS YUNSANG A THING IN THIS STORY?_

  
He mutters to himself as he thinks about the story—no, the _monster_ of a fanfiction that Celeste has written, a behemoth of creative writing and world-building and character development and—

  
This story is _insane_. Celeste is _insane_ and _brilliant_ for writing tens of thousands of words, and frankly he doesn’t think that he has _anything_ on the San in the story. In fact, San has a _crush_ on fic-San, and the only reason he’s not ready to let go of his current girlfriend and give his all to this literally unreal version of him is because she is the actual creator of this ethereal being, making her the highest being to exist in his life, _ever_.

  
Celeste finds him in the closet in the afternoon, passed out from having binged the entire story through the night, but she’s none the wiser about it. She coos at his ruffled pink bedhead and gently tucks a pillow under him, then leaves for university with his soul in her hands.


	6. A Six-pack on a Tall, Cool Drink of Water

San has a glorious, golden-tanned, glazed six-pack.

But then again, Celeste already knew that.


End file.
